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[23 Dec 2009|06:12pm] |
I am not crazy, in case any of you were wondering. The incident in the Great Hall was merely the byproduct of sleeplessness and a mild seizure. Whatever I said, I'm sure it was a quote from some book or another that I've read. Nothing to worry about. Not that any of you would actually worry about me or what I said. It'll serve you ri
[Private to Astoria]
I heard what happened. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I haven't been to see you. I've been avoiding everyone since I had a vision in the middle of the great hall. And since I caught...
I hope you're feeling a bit better. I have a Christmas gift for you. I'll bring it by the hospital wing whenever you're up to some company.
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[14 Dec 2009|10:41pm] |
[Private for only this journal to see]
Written in Anthony's writing. Backdated to before Anthony's thread
I found your journal. You dropped it when..
Padma keeps telling me to talk to you. And I don't know how. I don't know what to say. If I can say anything. Sorry isn't good enough, and it's a word that I hate. It's the most despicable word in the english language. It doesn't mean anything and it definitely doesn't do any real justice to what needs to be said. But I don't think there are any words to be said. Not in this case. I don't expect you to forgive me. I certainly wouldn't. I've done the worst thing to you that anyone could do. And, God, I hate myself for it. I really do. You've been nothing but perfect to me, so helpful and kind and there when I needed you the most. And you loved me. And I messed all that up, I lost all my chances of... ever, ever being happy with you again.
I hope you don't think me dramatic when I tell you that I hate myself for it. I do. You were quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to me. You knew that. You knew you would be long before anything ever even happened.
I don't know how to tell you why I did what I did. I don't know why I did what I did. I can say that at one point, yes, I did love Constantine Rivers. And, I don't know, maybe a little part of me always will. Maybe that was the part that reacted to him. But, Sorin, understand and know, know with all of your heart and mind, that when you told me not to come near you, to go to hell, I honestly felt my heart break. I've never felt that before. It's always hurt to break up with someone, for something bad to happen, to drift away, whatever it is. But it's never, ever felt like this before. I don't want to be happy without you.
Please know, whether you believe it or not, that I love you. I love you with every ounce of me that there is. I want you to be happy, and not lose a bit of what you've become, because it is beautiful and bright and good. You're smile could light up an entire room, and it's certainly lit up my life.
I don't know what else to do or say. I don't know if anything will ever be enough...
Anthony Goldstein
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| Private. |
[09 Dec 2009|02:20pm] |
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I can't show my face. I think I've missed nearly a week of lessons now. Maybe they think I'm sick. I'm just afraid of what everyone thinks. Afraid to go back, and see the looks on their faces when I walk into a room. I hate that feeling - the one you get when you walk into a place and everyone's quiet and looking at you, like they were just talking about you. And I've seen what they think. Why? Why did it have to be the Great Hall? I hate the visions! I wish there was some way to get them out of my head.
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[22 Nov 2009|07:10pm] |
I was wondering where I had left this thing - apparently in the tower, where I wrote in it last. They are surprisingly easy to misplace, if one does not use them often. Does anyone know where the Quidditch practice schedule is posted? I would like to get in some extra practice, but am not sure when the pitch is in use by other houses.
( Private to Anthony Goldstein )
( Private )
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[28 Oct 2009|06:00pm] |
So it has struck at last. I hope no one does anything particularly wasteful. It is a shame that the Ministry has not yet found a cure, but inept though they may be, I am sure they are looking for answers. If they did not, can you imagine the backlash from the entire wizarding community once words spreads about the school?
( Private to Anthony Goldstein )
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| Hexed Private. |
[26 Oct 2009|03:28pm] |
Oh.
Oh fuck.
I saw it coming and
But if it makes the visions go away
If there is a God.
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| Two days older, two days colder. |
[25 Oct 2009|10:00pm] |
And so, I am of age at last.
I feel no different, only two days older since Friday. The big event passed without fanfare, for which I am grateful. I spent the better part of my seventeenth birthday in the hospital wing surrounded by quiet. There were gifts from my family, the typical small tokens one receives when one comes of age, I think. Or perhaps traditions are different, here in the United Kingdom.
On another note, I believe I have found my costume for the Ball next weekend. I am looking forward to wearing it. And to attending. It should be a nice change, and hopefully everyone will be happy. I cannot take another vision so soon. I think it would kill me.
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[29 Sep 2009|04:24pm] |
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I apologize if I frightened anyone who was in the Great Hall with me yesterday evening. Madame Pomfrey assured me that my seizure left no lasting damage. Whatever I said, please ignore as completely inane babbling brought on by the attack. Thank you to those who attempted to assist me. That is all.
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[17 Sep 2009|10:45pm] |
The school is quiet, and I must say, I prefer it. There are plenty of open classrooms to escape into and the Great Hall no longer sounds like a zoo. I am sure I regret the reason for the silence, but I neither knew the woman well nor know what truly happened. Assumptions often lead to embarrassment. My sympathies to those who were present at the scene. Still, I see no point in leaving the school unless our own lives are threatened.
( Private to those who know of his visions. )
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